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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:22 am 
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I really like the does not die even when he is killed reference, haha.

You're getting better at being more descriptive I think. One thing I really love about your writing is that I can easily picture in my head what's going on at the moment. Which is what a piece of writing should do, of course.
Your transition to Dark and Shadow at the very end seems to happen a little quickly, but other than that it's all written pretty well, giving a good amount of information without being too overly focused on details (so not to draw away from the story).

Good job bro <3

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:38 am 
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Yeah, I felt the end was a bit too fast too, but inside of my head I just wanted to finish that thing already. Like I said any times, it's a bitch to type in this thing, so I just said fuck it and cut it short. I will keep that in mind for the future though, to make sure I don't do that when typing on a actual keyboard.


Gosh, I love writting, but I have to stop 'wanting to finish things already'. I don't have a time limit or anything so I don't know why I do that. Next time I write something, I will try to make sure everything goes smoothly. I already have something planned for what I'm going to write next, to be honest~

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:03 am 
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"I AM SANGER ZONVOLT! THE SWORD THAT CLEAVES EVIL! YOU ARE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU ARE HUGE EVIL! YOU SHALL BE CLEAVED, BLUE EYES ULTIMATE JOEY!" Shouted the white haired man as he swinged his 20 meters tall mecha who was holding a sword around, destroying buildings and houses around the location he found himself in it. In front of him stood a giant, three headed man, who kept his arms in front of his disfigured faces in a failed attempt at defending himself from the impacts caused by the man with no indoor voice.



In another area of the city, two men stood in the middle of the deserted streets, all civilians having evacuated the city already due to the man swinging a mecha around not too far from their location. They stared at each other, not moving even a finger, for each of them was waiting for the other to do the first move. Indeed, they were about to start a fight of epic proportions, only outclassed by the hair of one of the individuals. One of them wore purely red clothing, including a hat and cape, and held a rapier in his right hand. His eyes were cold and sharp, and his solid combat pose would remind any sane, experienced fighter of a set of stairs. The other man also wore red, but only in his leather armor that covered his legs and arms only. His pants and sleeveless shirt were as black as a homeless man. In his right hand, there was an Katana with it's blade colored red, and in his left hand an black sawed-off-shotgun was found. His eyes showed the same sign of danger as his enemy's did, but what was truly horrifying about him was his hair; 2\3 black, 1\3 white, it was like he had killed a Raccoon and glued to his head, anus first. He was an dangerous, if unpredictable, Raccoon Creature.



Suddenly, the Raccoon Creature raised his weapon and shot at his foe. The man in red jumped at the side in time pressing his left hand against the ground, followed by eletricity covering the streets. The Raccoon Creature had to run to avoid being shocked, realizing he was fighting nothing other than a Red Mage. The moment he noticed the Red Mage lifted his hand from the ground, he rushed at him, sword first. The Red Mage avoided a horizontal slash aimed at his neck before attempting to pierce the Raccoon Creature's heart, who just barely avoided, only getting his left hand wounded, although that caused him to drop his shotgun. The following moments consisted of constant failed attempts from both sides at either slashing or piercing it's enemy, scratches being the best any of them got.



"CHESTOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" As soon the voice was heard, a man holding a giant mecha holding a sword came crashing down from the sky, smashing his mecha against the ground in front of both of the fighters who barely had any time to avoid the impact. The explosion of manliness caused by the attack ended as soon as it begun, causing earth to be split into two. That event showed that the man that called himself SANGER ZONVOLT! THE SWORD THAT CLEAVES EVIL! was even more dangerous than the other 2. Luckily or not, all 3 individuals found themselves in the same side of the planet, the other side slowly moving towards the sun. That would not be much of a issue, whether it not for that side containing Australia in it. The sun as about to face one of it's most dangerous enemies, Australian fire tornados and spiders, but that was a tale for another day.



In the other side of the planet, the 3 men stared at each other for a few seconds, the silence brutally interrupted by the Red Mage "Wait, why are we fighting each other? I don't even know any of you. My name is Stairs, and you two?" He put his Rapier back in his belt before crossing his arms and waiting for the other 2 individuals answer to his question. The Raccoon Creature put his sword back in it's scabbard, and through hair magic, found his shotgun right at his side, putting it inside the hammerspace found within his hair. "You may call me-" His words were stopped by the loud voice of the man holding a giant mecha holding a sword "SHUT UP! AND LISTEN! I AM SANGER ZONVOLT! THE SWORD THAT CLEAVES EVIL!" His voice loud enough to create a black hole that slowly started consuming the solar system, although no one appeared to care. The Raccoon Creature stared at SANGER ZONVOLT! THE SWORD THAT CLEAVES EVIL! before attempting to continue what he was saying "As I was saying, my name is-" He was interrupted once again by the sound of what appeared to be a massive object falling from the sky in their direction; A fucking nuke. It was not known from where that came from, but it was sure to cause a mess if it were to hit the ground.



Just before SANGER ZONVOLT! THE SWORD THAT CLEAVES EVIL! could jump to cleave the nuke, Blue Eyes Ultimate Joey flew at the Nuke's direction, his body a bloody mess after the fight with SANGER ZONVOLT! THE SWORD THAT CLEAVES EVIL!, yet his will to keep going and protecting others keeping his body working. "Kaiba is attempting to destroy the 3 of you with a nuke he is directly controlled through his enemy controller! I am going to sacrifice my remaining life points to stop the nuke, but the 3 of you must stop him!" Before anyone could answer, Blue Eyes Ultimate Joey tackled the nuke, causing it to explode and radiation to spread across the sky. Dead birds, pigs and black men fell from the sky due to the explosion, although they were quickly revived into dinosaurs due to a Getter Beam that hit them, the attack coming from an unkown location no one could be bothered to go find out.



As the 3 of them stared at each other, only Stairs The Red Mage showed any signs of actually questioning the stupidity of the situation, but decided to keep it to himself in order to avoid any bigger messes. Despite the request of Blue Eye Ultimate Joey, the 3 of them decided to just start traveling together across what remained of earth, no one ever letting Raccoon Creature finish telling his name each time he tried to say it, resulting in everyone knowing him simply as 'Raccoon Creature.'



"And that is how I became the president of United States" said a voice coming from the inside of the humanoid Jackal's head, cocky and sure of himself with every word. "You're an idiot" was the only response the voice got, and it came out as deadpan as it could get.

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:12 am 
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This is the most godlike thing in the history of saya what the hell I don't even.

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:11 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:41 am 
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Heeeey anyone that cares. I decided to write something new for practice. This time, it's gonna be nothing else than a full 6 on 6 Pokemon battle! It's gonna be kinda long and divided in 2 parts(this is part 1), but I hope anyone that reads it enjoys it!




---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


-The Last Meeting-



Two young men stood at distance from each other, their eyes locked and unmoving. They found themselves inside a school build for teaching new trainers about the basics, although both of them were anything but beginners, having years of experience behind their belts. Indeed, they were in that place specifically for giving the new trainers a demostration of what a high level Pokemon battle was all about. It was by no mere coincidence that those 2 specific trainers were picked for this, however.



At the left side of the battlefield made for Pokemon battles, one of the two trainers unwrapped a red scarf from his left arm and put it around his neck and lower face, with everything from the nose and above still visible, although his eyes were partially covered by his long brown hair with a ponytail that reached down his waist behind him. Close inspectation showed that he wore a set of clothes consisting of red boots, black jeans, a white shirt and a open dark blue jacket. How much of the leg his boots covered was unknown due to it being covered by his pants, but it was clearly made for walking on rough enviroments, and it was mostly destroyed due to usage, showing he had a lot of traveling experience backing him up.



On the right side of the battlefield, the other trainer wore more casual clothing in the form of simple black shoes, brown leather pants and a blue shirt with short sleeves. It was a set of clothes used for going out in the street or being at home as rather than traveling. His blonde hair was cut somewhat short, not touching the back of his neck nor going pass his eyes, although it was still slighty spiky much like that of the trainer in front of him.



"This is gonna be our last battle in a while, huh?" Said the trainer wearing a long red scarf, the expression on his face almost impossible to make out due to so many things covering it, although his eyes didn't show a lot of emotion. The other trainer simply nodded before pulling out one of his Pokeballs from his belt, followed by the other trainer doing the same in response.



"My name is Jack, and I shall be the referee for this battle!" Shouted a man that walked up to the middle of the battlefield. He wore clothes any official referee would, which included black shoes, pants and a yellow shirt. He also held a few flags on his hands, a must for any official battle. "On the left corner stands the man known as Leon!" he pointed with one of his flags to the trainer wearing a scarf, who did nothing in response to it. "He has officially been a trainer for 4 years, and was among the top 16 trainers on the Sinnoh league last year, achieving the 12th position!" Despite it sounding it like praise showering, those statements were more about giving information to the students watching than anything.



"On the right corner stands the man known as Ryan!" Jack followed that by pointing the same flag he used before to him, the trainer nodding in response to it. "Having been a official trainer for 5 years and achieving the 4th position on the Johto league last year, this man is one of the most experienced youngsters of our generation!" With the introductions finally over, the referee proceeded to explain the rules of that battle. "This will be a full 6 on 6 battle! There will be no time limits and both trainers are allowed to switch Pokemon as many times they want! The battle will be over once all Pokemon of a team are considered unable to battle!" Jack followed by moving out of the center of the field and going to a safer position. All the students and teachers of the school were watching the event, and some could barely hold their excitement.



Both of the trainers were friends and rivals for over 2 years, and traveled through Hoenn together. They found themselves in the Unova region at that instance, preparing for their third 6 on 6 battle between each other. Although Ryan had won their first full battle, Leon managed to beat him on their second battle, and this battle was both to decide who of them was the best and as a way of saying farewell to each other, for Ryan was planning on remaining in the region and living there while Leon would be returning to the Sinnoh region and moving on with his adventure.



"Let the battle begin!"




"Alright, Blast! Time for some action!" Leon shouted as he tossed a Pokeball at the field, followed by a Metagross with unusual coloring coming out of it, being silver and golden instead of blue. The Iron Leg Pokemon stood with an air of experience around it, clearly having been part of many battles up to that point. "Nidoking! Prepare for battle!" Ryan sent out his Pokemon shortly after Leon. In this case, it was nothing other than a Nidoking, the Drill Pokemon. It was a battle of two giants, and the start of both rivals's last battle.



"Blast, Meteor Mash!" The Shiny Metagross obeyed it's trainer, it's fist glowing white as he closed distance, it's ability to levitate allowing it to cross it a short amount of time, before he attempted to punch the Drill Pokemon on it's head. "Nidoking, evade to the right then attack with Flamethrower!" Ryan's Pokemon followed the command, easily evading the slow punch and attacking with a burst of flames from it's mouth. "Blast, counter that Flamethrower with Flash Cannon!" shortly after the command, the Iron Leg Pokemon formed a orb of silver energy at it's mouth and fired in direction to the flames that came at him, both attacks clashing and creating a explosion that scattered melted iron around the battlefield due to the properties of both attacks. The students were amazed at what they saw, but to the teachers and more experienced trainers it was nothing new.



"Good reaction time like always..." Ryan said in response to Leon's quick commands, but shortly followed the statement. "But that was just to see if you are going to fight seriously. Nidoking, Drill Run!" The Drill Pokemon ran in direction to the Iron Leg Pokemon, it's signature drill starting to spin as he went head on with a headbutt. "Tch. Blast, Iron Head!" In response to the Drill coming at his direction, the Iron Leg Pokemon countered with a headbutt of it's own, it's head reinforced with hard iron. As they both clashed, Nidoking was having a hard time breaking through the Metagross's head, but his sheer strength was enough to rival that of the Iron Leg Pokemon, allowing him to not be pushed back by it's strength.



Slowly, the Iron Leg Pokemon was pushed back. Not due to the strength of his enemy, but from the type disavantage of the attacks causing him more pain than he could take. His trainer noticed that, and was forced to think of something fast. "Blast, Meteor Mash!" At that distance, there was no way he could miss the attack, but it would take away the concentration required to keep Iron Head active. Leon knew that, yet decided to give the order anyway. If he were to keep things the way they were, his Pokemon was sure to lose.



Pain could be seen on Blast's eyes, yet he ignored as he Meteor Mashed the Nidoking right in the guts, sending him sliding away. The damage on his head was significant, but not enough to put him out of battle, and his enemy was damaged as well now. While it didn't look like any of them was about to back down, both trainers knew the damage was going to catch up soon. "Blast, return!" As he shouted those words, Leon returned his Metagross to it's Pokeball. Ryan showed no surprised over the decision, knowing Leon would never keep his Pokemon in a battle in which it had a type disavantage over it for too long.



"Nocturne, make me proud!" Leon shouted as he threw one of his Pokeballs at the field's direction, followed by an giant bat Pokemon coming out of it. It was none other than a Gliscor. From a type advantage standpoint it was clear Gliscor had the advantage in this battle, but one must never understimate the number of moves a Nidoking can learn for such situations. Leon knew Ryan was always prepared, it was one of his trademark traits. Just like Leon knew that however, Ryan knew Leon had a story of beating well thought out strategies with stuff made up on the spot. They both knew their foe was not one to be underestimated, having years of experience watching each other battle.



"Nocturne, Sky attack!" The scarf wearing trainer shouted, his Pokemon obeying him and flying up to the top of the battlefield where he began to charge the attack, his body glowing due to it. "Nidoking, Fire Blast him out of the sky!" The Drill Pokemon proceeded to fire a giant star of flames from his mouth at his airbone foe, hoping to hit him out of his charging state. Would the attack connect? And if it did, would it be enough? Those are questions that will be answered on the next episode of Pokemon!



-End of part 1-

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:09 am 
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GREAT starting to this. I'm not that big of a Pokemon fan anymore, but it was still enjoyable enough to read. I think to someone who wasn't familiar with Pokemon would have a hard time understanding because of not knowing what some of the attacks or Pokemon looked like but at the same time I hardly see that being an issue anyway because I doubt someone who wasn't familiar with Pokemon would fully be interested in it xD

The ONLY typo I see after looking it over again is near the very end, in this line -

Quote:
They both knew their foe were not one to be understimated, having years of experience watching each other battle.

You use 'were' and it probably should be 'was' because of the way it is phrased... or at least I'm pretty sure anyways. This is an easy mistake though, and honestly english tenses can be very confusing and strange with their consistencies. Overall, very awesome job bro and looking forward to more.

Also I just noticed the e is missing in underestimated oops, sorry to be picky xD

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:18 am 
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Ah, thanks for that. I knew there was something wrong with that part but could not quite tell what it was.


I thought the same thing, most folks that are not interested in Pokemon won't even bother to read it, so there is not much need in describing how the Pokemon look for the most part. I do try to explain the moves though, since it's kind of a must.


Thanks sis <3

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:57 am 
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Very enjoyable read, you do your Pokemon battles in a similar way to mine, I like that XD

Can't wait to see how this battle ends~

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 Post subject: Re: Luca's practice fics
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:06 pm 
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i apparently go into MASSIVE CRITIC MODE when reading things like this idk if you want me to point out like every grammar mistake or anything tho, or just parts of it that are just kinda jarring to read

i kinda like people doing things like this either way so <3

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